Rant Thread

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello guys, sorry I just needed to rant about my fucked up life.
I just needed to get this all out their. Sorry again. My life isn't bad, it's just thing are really shitty for me right now.

1) I am constently getting judged for listening to the music I like, looking the way I do, acting the way I do and feeling the way I do.
I feel like I can't have any self expression until I'm 18. I'm not that "out there" either. Here, this is a picture of me from a couple months ago. (it was from the end of june) Yes it's my profile picture on twitter. I no longer have the purple dye or lip ring. Because I can't.

http://twitter.com/account/profile_image/izzikitsune?hreflang=en
This is from today. Just now actually. (still in PJ's)
http://twitpic.com/2fg9h7
Anyway, It just really makes me sad to think that I can't be myself around other people. Mostly my family.

2) I have been very depressed lately. I can't talk to my dad because he will think I'm crazy and I try to hide my sadness from others so no one thinks I am weird. I can't take anti- depressions though, I have seriously thought about them.
I just feel very far and distant from people and very alone. I'm not lonely, but alone. I'm a very social person too.

3) This issue is bugging me a lot actually, because it really effects my life a lot. Here goes it...
I am at the age where I should put everything aside and focus on school, start looking at collages and stop skipping class. Study instead of parties and (NOT SAYING I DO THIS) sleeping around (I DO NOT sleep around promise) Find something I want to do as a living for the rest of my life.
People always tell me "Oh your going to collage here then medical school" I don't want to be a doctor or something like that. Heck, I don't even know if I want to go to collage. I am in a band, have been in many different bands and none fit, but this one does and we have been working really hard on an EP and getting signed and all. (We are labeled to Dead on Arrival Records) and I want to see where I go with this, music is honesty what I love.
My feeling is, I can go to collage and all whenever, but to tour and all, you can't do that forever and that's been my dream since I was little so why not try for that. Give my two years and if we still are nowhere in the music indrustry I can go to collage, but if it's working out and I'm still having fun then why not.
If I ever told my family this I'd be kicked out though. Thats what I'm scared of.
I don't have interest in finishing school and going to become a doctor or lawyer, so why can't I be what I want to be?
It's really bothering me though, I don't know what to do. Anyone want to give input? Am I crazy or is my head on strait. Just help me out I feel so lost.

4) This one is normal drama, but I feel like I try to give someone my all and I love them and spend memories and "firsts" with this guy, who treats you like crap later? I hate this feeling.

Si Hoo wrote:Ever have one of those days with no one to talk to? That's been happening to me a lot lately. Unfortunately, all my pals in real life feel the desperate need to 'share' all the details of any secret they're told with the rest of the gang... It makes it a little difficult to have private conversations anymore.
It's not a huge problem, but I just wanted to post something on the rant thread. xD It hasn't been used for quite some time.